It's been a while since we discussed your presence. For most people, forgetting about you around the Christmas season is simply a conscious oversight in order to put more effort into shopping, decorating and gorging. I understand you use this mostly to your advantage. Well, dear sir, the good news for me was that I did not succumb to your temptation this season. While you may have been snickering in hiding that I have not written on my blog in over a month, I am here to assure you that you have not won. We have quite the war ahead of us, and, while there will be many battles, I will eventually come out on top. You hold the cards at the moment, but my outlook is changing. Instead of saying that you are 35% of me, I will now say that I am 65% not fat. I even got up early this morning to tell you how I feel, and I plan on doing so again, so please let your friend Lazy know what he's up against as well.
But I digress. Fat, please take this as another appeal to transform yourself of your own accord, so we can forego this horrible dance and work together as a team. Failing that, I will be forced to convert you into energy and expend you against your will. It is not my nature to apply unwelcome pressure to another, but my hands are tied. Please try to understand.
Sincerely,
Edward the (soon-to-be-not) Fat Guy
